Patellofemoral Pain In the Butt

Patellofemoral pain syndrome is not really in the butt. (Fortunately? Unfortunately?) It’s pain in the joint between your femur and your knee cap, which usually gets worse when sitting with bent knees or when bending the knee under load – for example when descending stairs or attempting a grand plié. It can result from overuse of the joint, improper alignment or unsuitable shoes, among other things.

Please note that I made this «diagnosis» using the internet, so it’s probably about as accurate as a drunk stormtrooper in a dark shooting gallery during an earthquake.

I have had this (presumably but maybe not) PFPS before. I distinctly remember overdoing Dance Central Spotlight on the Xbox One. I probably overdid it incorrectly. Kinect can distinguish the positions of your arms and legs very well, but it’s not concerned with proper form or alignment or any other such nonsense. In combination with an office chair set too low, it made my life pretty awful for a few weeks.

I don’t condone ignoring medical problems and waiting for them to go away. I think I even called the doctor back then, but he was on vacation and since my issue was chronic, I decided to wait for him to come back. During this wait I had the brilliant idea to set my office chair higher and lo and behold, the knee pain magically went away. The Dance Central Spotlight withdrawal cetainly helped as well.

But now the (irresponsibly self-diagnosed) PFPS is baaaack! Yay! I’m so happy. Not. There’s a part in the hiphop choreography where we kneel on one leg while kicking the other one out. I bought some knee pads for that specific part, and of course I never wore them.

Wear the knee pads. Knee pads are love. Knee pads are life.

The knee in question is fifty shades of bruised, which in itself doesn’t bother me. But it is also the one with the (Google-is-never-wrong-or-is-it) PFPS, which does. I couldn’t even do grand pliés OR the floor bit of the choreo in jazz yesterday. *cry*

So it’s probably PFPS, it’s probably from overuse and therefore I will probably have to skip hiphop next Monday because the lesson is basically one giant plié. Thankfully, there are no complaints from the knee if it’s only bent a little, so jazz and ballet are perfectly fine if I skip certain exercises.

Fortunately, the summer break is nearing. I will only have ballet during that time, so I can work on resting, stretching and doing low-impact strength training to recover both my left knee and my right Achilles tendon. I kneed this. Haha. Ha. Ha.

I should probably also write out «I shall wear knee pads» about a hundred times.

Knee pads are your friend. Yoshi is also your friend.

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