How to Wreck Your Quadriceps in Four Easy Steps

Step One

Come home from work and get dressed for ballet class. Realise you still have ten minutes before it is time for you to leave. Nestle into your comfy armchair.

Step Two

Realise you were wrong about the time and you have a whole hour before it is actually time to leave. Decide to get up and do something useful around the house. Just five more minutes in the comfy armchair.

Step Three

Realise over an hour’s worth of five minutes has passed and you definitely should leave right now if you don’t want to be late. Walk briskly to ballet class. Arrive on time, but not early enough to warm up properly.

Step Four

Have your teacher start the class with sequences of three grand pliés at the barre, instead of the usual two petit, one grand. Wave your quadriceps good-bye and proceed with your usual ballet class on legs that tremble and buckle with muscle fatigue if you bend your knees over ten degrees.

Congratulations, you have successfully wrecked your quadriceps.

During the next few days, take the time to contemplate the full extent of your stupidity whenever you find yourself taking the stairs one excruciating step at a time.

4 thoughts on “How to Wreck Your Quadriceps in Four Easy Steps

  1. OMG, yes. I felt like this the last time I took Killer Class the morning after an Acro 2 class that involved basically holding a 2nd-position plié foreeeevvvaaaaaaar while doing various arm exercises; likewise last Wednesday, when I arrived with exactly no warm-up time.

    Somehow, back when I was first dancing again, the plié combination was warm-up enough. Of course, that might be because it was slow and gentle and never involved diving straight into soutenu…


  2. Oh, also, I have found that a long (like: bring a good book and a drink), hot bath does wonders for quads that feel like they’re full of ground glass!


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