Does anyone remember how I was all like «Damn, I thought physio would be exercises but it’s all massage, so awkward, halp»? Rejoice, my readers, and rejoice, my past self, because the 25 minutes of slightly awkward massage have been replaced by an hour and fifteen minutes of grueling exercise. (Although Mr. Adorable suggested I do an hour and fifteen minutes of grueling exercise followed by 25 minutes of slightly awkward massage next time.)
Last Thursday, I skipped joyfully into physiotherapy to tell Mr. Adorable how well his massage had helped me. He was very pleased to hear this and then immediately suggested we don’t do the massage again because it’s only a symptomatic treatment and my symptoms were mostly gone. Instead, it was time for my long-awaited exercises and oh boy.
Most of the stuff I had to do was quite easy. And then there was the Copenhagen Adduction. Mr. Adorable was overjoyed that I could do it at all and had me do two sets of ten reps on each side. It is a wonderful exercise and I do recommend it. If you haven’t deliberately trained your adductors before, do please send me a video of your waddling around the next day. Maybe you’re better prepared, but I spent two days walking like a penguin with truly epic adductor DOMS. While this was both hilarious and annoying, my injured tendon behaved itself quite well and the entire injured side even recovered faster than the healthy one.
Today, I headed off into physio early, since I was instructed to warm up beforehand. Mr. Adorable admitted it was a challenge finding exercises for me since I’m much more flexible than the average footballer with a groin injury (I should bloody well hope so!). He has risen to this challenge admirably. Since the uninjured side has not yet quite recovered from Thursday’s massacre, he had me do some strength stuff on the injured side and then switched me over to one-legged balance exercises where you go into a sort of modern arabesque (you are allowed to lean forward) in plié while keeping your knee from protruding beyond your toes and your standing leg perfectly aligned. He threatened to find a way to make this harder next time, but I somehow doubt that will be necessary. I believe I will now get to find out what epic DOMS in the abductors feels like.
All this finding-new-ways-to-make-the-Dork-suffer has helped a lot with the awkwardness. First, exercises require concentration and I just don’t have time for Mr. Adorable’s adorableness. Second, hearing things like «Aw, this exercise made you feel awfully sore? That’s fine by me, do it twice a week» makes me harbour certain vengeful thoughts towards him. But… he has provided me with a convenient outlet for those thoughts: he told me he’s going to try modern tomorrow! I almost wish I could be there to witness it – it would give me ever so much satisfaction. He’s tall and gangly and has never danced before and can you imagine… okay, I’m just being evil now. If I can do modern, so can he.
He did say his girlfriend dragged him into this, but he also said he was looking forward to seeing what kind of moves it entailed in order to better understand what I do. He even asked me to bring the video of our performance next time, so he could have a look at our choreography. I complain about physio jokingly, because a bit of complaining is more fun to read and to write. In reality, I have a great respect for Mr. Adorable and his incredible dedication. He’s a fantastic therapist and I’m ever so glad I picked him that late Sunday night. I am deeply grateful for each and every one of his efforts.
Still, I will cherish the mental image of him trying modern when the DOMS kicks in tomorrow. Just a little.