Why Not Zoidberg

Physiotherapy went well today, meaning that Mr. Adorable killed me ded as usual. At the moment, he’s rather into making me jump around on one leg to improve my balance. He already had me jumping on the floor in all sorts of patterns as well as up and down an aerobic step. Today, he added a balance ball to the setup. I was pleased to find out that jumping onto the balance ball with both legs presents me with no difficulty whatsoever. (Unless I completely forget to engage my core muscles like I did the first time. Ahem.)

The one-legged jumping up onto the balance ball is a bit more challenging, but at least I’m able to remain standing most of the time. So is Mr. Adorable, annoyingly fit git that he is.

After that, Mr. Adorable decided I need more Therabands in my life. He showed me an exercise where you basically plie in a wide parallel second and then sidestep back and forth with a theraband tied around your ankles. I nerded out immediately when I saw that and we had one of those exchanges which make physiotherapy so much fun (and prooooobably make Mr. Adorable think I need a different kind of therapy entirely).

Mr. Adorable: «This is the defensive stance in basketball, by the way.»

Me: «No. This is Zoidberg

Mr. Adorable: «Zoid-what?»

Me: «WOOP WOOP WOOP» (\/) (°,,,°) (\/) *scuttles around*

Mr. Adorable: (⊙_☉)

Not a Futurama fan, our Mr. Adorable, but apparently, he plays basketball. At least I didn’t make a stupid comment along the lines of «No wonder, with your height». Oh and remember my sneaking suspicion that he is deliberately baiting me to work harder? It is now officially confirmed. Before doing the Zoidberg exercise I asked him whether he’d looped the theraband around his ankles once or twice. He said, «Twice, but I do play basketball, after all.» The bastard. I had no choice but to uphold the honour of adult dance beginners everywhere and take the double loop as well. I could do it, too. Take that, basketball!

And finally, we did my all-time favourite Copenhagen adduction:

Gratuitous physiotherapy selfie. Hanging in my hip and knee joints like I’ve never seen the inside of a dance class before. Sigh.

I asked Mr. Adorable how it was possible that I still get sore muscles from it after all this time and he said «Well, it’s a brutal exercise.» Which didn’t stop him from making it even harder by moving my leg up and down in time with the hip movement. He’d «only» been turning it around and pulling it higher with each repetition before, so this was definitely a step up.

Make no mistake though, all that cruelty to the Dork is paying off big time. Not only am I able to dance again without feeling any pain from my injury, I have also built up some serious muscle. And when Mr. Adorable left to torment his next patient and instructed me to do another cycle of all the exercises, I even got a compliment. Another therapist (the same one that was up to pas-de-chats) saw me doing the Copenhagen on my own and said, «Impressive!».

Unless he was talking about my cat leggings.


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