My physiotherapy with Mr. Adorable is drawing to an end. Yesterday was the second-to-last time and he continued teaching me what I need to know to continue exercising and avoiding injury by myself. I opted out of the pistol squats because my infamous, irresponsibly self-diagnosed knee pain was rearing its ugly head again. To be fair, it was a very small and diffuse head that didn’t really prevent me from doing anything.
This Great, Scary and Probably Life-Threatening Knee Issue™ impressed Mr. Adorable not at all, probably because he studied and works with actual knee issues. Still, he let me skip the pistols and made me do regular squats instead while he twisted my thigh and calf muscles this way and that. Some of the twists made the pain change or disappear. I take this as confirmation of my bullshit diagnosis of patellar tracking issues, even though Mr. Adorable didn’t actually say anything to this effect.
What he did say was that it was normal for knees to get irritated with a sudden increase in knee-related activities and that my knees, like the rest of me, are very flexible in all the good ways, but also all the bad ones. As such, he concluded, more single-leg squats are exactly what I need. He proceeded to show me the correct form for doing them with weights so that I may
impress everybody at the gym strengthen my knees.
While he was examining my knee, the bastard* managed to put one over on me. I complained that the knee in question was making a weird popping sensation. We had the following exchange:
Mr. Adorable: «Show me.» *puts hand on indicated spot on knee*
Me: *bends knee*
Mr. Adorable: *very theatric sharp intake of breath*
My first thought: OHMYGODIT’STERRIBLE
My second thought: Wait a minute….!!!
Mr. Adorable: *laughs* «It’s just a tendon snapping. It probably does that all the time, you just don’t notice it.»
For a split second there, the bastard actually got me. I need your ideas for a gruesome revenge plan!