How To Rapidly Improve Jumps And Floorwork In Two Easy Steps

This has been dawning on me in every single dance class for the past two weeks, so let me inflict it upon you. The steps might seem a tad counterintuitive, but trust me, they work wonders.

Step One

Acquire a deep dental filling in one of your upper (maxillary) molars. It is imperative that the filling be in an upper molar and so deep that your dentist invokes the name of root canal. As in «If this doesn’t work, you’re going to need a root canal.» Step one is difficult and, depending on where you are in the world, rather expensive. It is slightly easier if, like me, you’re predisposed to bad teeth.

Step Two

Acquire a common cold. Any upper respiratory infection will do, but a minor cold is easiest to come by and comes with the least side effects. This step is neither difficult nor expensive. Nor, in most cases, possible to avoid.

Et Voilà

Having acquired the two prerequisite… items, proceed to modern class. Notice immediately that the sinus irritation from the cold causes the nerve next to the filling to twang every time you land too hard from a jump or bump your head. Rapidly learn to land like a feather and to keep your head on the floor whenever possible during floorwork. Remember to take some ibuprofen before next class.

Disclaimer: just for the record, I don’t actually recommend any of this. Duh.

10 thoughts on “How To Rapidly Improve Jumps And Floorwork In Two Easy Steps

  1. Oh, hello, fellow bad-teeth-owner. One horrible winter, I survived root canal treatment as well as wisdom teeth removal. I went to dance class between appointments, even if I should not have done so. I was so afraid, and dancing helped me to keep calm. However, I only attended beginner’s classes, I could not have handled anything else.

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  2. Oh I remember wisdom teeth! That was fun! Not. The first three were easy, the last one took two hours and was generally horrible. I had mine out when I was just attending a single dance class, so I didn’t miss too much. Did you have all of yours out in one go? Did you get to have general anesthesia?

    I dread root canal. I’ll probably end up having one on this tooth eventually – fillings aren’t forever. I’m fortunate not to be afraid, but it still isn’t very pleasant. It must’ve been terrible for you! Glad you survived!

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  3. The lower wisdom teeth were horrible, the upper two came out easily. Root canal treatment was not exactly a pleasure, but by that time I had already found my wonderful doctor, so it was not too bad. I had a bad experience with another doctor, that’s why I was so afraid.

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  4. To this day, every time they roll out the warm-up jumps, I hear the ghost of my childhood ballet teacher crying out across the sands of time, “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE ARE *NOT* ELEPHANTS!”

    I haven’t tried the dental work approach, but it sounds like it would be pretty effective!

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  5. Wondeful how things like that stick with you! During jumps, I have to think of Mr. Adorable. The physiotherapy practice was located above my city’s central post office and he’d say “Now think of the poor people at the post office!” whenever I landed to heavily.
    My ballet studio is in the basement though… Dental work, however, was still effective there. After more than three weeks, it finally got better, but the next cold is coming.

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